Welcome! I’m glad to be writing today. Thank you for coming to my blog.
This prompt inspired me because of my own history with discontentment, unhappiness, and depression in my own life.
This story begins for me in 2003 when I started therapy.
Before I started into this process I always thought depression was the result of serious mental illness and that you needed medication if you were affected by this serious issue. I never felt like I couldn’t leave my own house. I was always willing to do more and take on more. I was a productive member of society. I was sure I wasn’t suffering from depression.
As I began to discover the underpinnings of the sources my discontent and unhappiness in my life I began to awaken myself to a deeper understanding. It was this increasing awareness of my subconscious influences and of my underlying beliefs that gave my first insight into my relationship with depression.
For most of my adult life I would have periods of being down. I would describe these episodes as being in a funk. I remember describing this funk to my therapist one time to which he replied, “That sounds like you are depressed.”
That single comment gave me an entirely new understanding of depression and how it affected me. Depression went from being something serious and debilitating to being something more commonplace and manageable. In addition, it meant that my funks weren’t some natural rhythm of mood outside my control, they were a result of a pattern of behavior, belief, and assumptions I was making.
As I started to think of these periods when my mood was down as depression, I got very excited. Funks I can’t do anything about, but depression I can!
I found through more therapy that there were three causes of my funks:
- Anger at situations and people that either I was not consciously aware of or felt could not be expressed
- Anger towards myself that I turned inward, i.e. guilt
- A sense of powerlessness developed by my attempts to control others
As I have learned healthy ways to address these underlying issues, my funks have gone away.
For anger towards others, I do take time to express my anger in ways that don’t hurt others, e.g. journaling my frustrations, calling a safe friend and having them give me two or three minutes to vent about the situation, creating lists of things I will do to make a positive impact on a situation, punching a pillow or other safe expression of energy, etc.
For anger towards myself I mostly Gestalt with myself and determine how in the future I will be different. I also seek out support from friends and, when needed, therapists.
For that sense of powerlessness, I do much of the above as well as listing the things that are outside my control and praying to gain acceptance. I find the Serenity Prayer to be a good tool in times such as these.
But what I try to not do is discount my feelings, ignore them, or let them come out sideways. Being honest about my feelings and taking care of myself and my needs has been the road tbe be free of depression,
I hope that if you suffer from funks or mild depression that you to can find freedom from it. We can survive periods such as these. But in order to thrive we must express our feelings and empower ourselves to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can.
With love and blessing my wish for you is happiness and joy!