Welcome! This post is prompted by the DungeonPrompt: Self Expression. This prompt was from a few weeks ago so I’m just playing catch up.
The instructions for this prompt were once again pretty simple: “Tell us about one of your favorite ways to express yourself outside of writing.” After careful thought and consideration, I wanted to share with you three talents that I have developed over my lifetime.
The first is a talent for repeating the same jokes over and over again. I am not the kind of guy who memorizes complex story jokes, but I have over the years developed a repertoire of sorts. Here are most of my jokes I love to tell:
- Two guys walked into a bar. You’d think the second one would have seen it.
- There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
- What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves? Russell
- …on your doorstep? Matt. …in a hole? Phil. …in a pool? Bob. …water skiing? Skip. … on the wall? Art. …in a hot tub? Stu.
- What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef … with two legs? Lean beef.
- What do you call a woman with only one leg? Ilene.
I’m one funny dude. 🙂
The second talent is my talent for burp-talking. When I was a child, my father would often speak when he burped. He would say “Koala.” I must have thought this was the most wonderful skill ever, and over the years I have learned to “burp-talk.” I can sometimes complete an entire sentence with one burp. I mean to say, I can burp the alphabet to the letter ‘G’ on a really good one.
If you are one of those people who look down upon burp-talking, you may want to stop reading now. The last of my talents may be too much for you to handle. This is your last warning!
The third and final talent I bring to bear in the world is farting at the best possible moment. By “best possible moment” I mean on demand, as you leave an elevator, or when you just get into the car with your family before taking a drive of any length. 🙂
Now let’s be clear that while I have worked hard to develop these talents over the four-plus decades of my life, there are those in my family who view these Super Powers from a somewhat negative perspective. IMO they have a lackluster appreciation for the supreme genius of my talents.
I can understand that for them, these skills and capabilities may invoke feelings of jealousy. A jealousy which they will violently argue they do not have. However, I am not convinced by all their declarations to the contrary.
I hope this post brought you a laugh, are doing well and having a wonderful day using your own awesome talents.